Where’s Your Famous Atmosphere – Newcastle 5th Of April 2014

I was surprised in the week approaching this match at the trepidation Newcastle fans were approaching this fixture with. With hindsight, they were right to be worried. After a level opening to the match, Newcastle folded like a cheap pair of trousers once Juan Mata put United into the lead in the 39th minute with a fantastic free kick. Anders Lindegaard stopped picking his nose for the day and he made a couple of excellent saves early in the match, particularly from Papiss Cisse in the 24th minute.

David Moyes took a gamble with this side today, obviously with Wednesday night in mind. That it resulted in United’s best league result of the season thus far is a happy coincidence for Moyes and a bit of long overdue good luck for him too. I’m not sure if he knew just how well Shinji Kagawa and Juan Mata would play together but he will know after todays performance, just in case he had any doubt. Kagawa along with Javier Hernadez were instrumental in United’s 2nd goal, scored with casual ease by Mata. Hernandez and Kagawa linked up again in the 65th minute to make the score 3-0 and finish off any lingering hope of Newcastle getting back into the game. This gave prompt to possibly the earliest exodus I’ve ever seen a football ground from a pathetic and risibly overrated home support. People leave early for all kinds of reasons but never to this volume.

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Milburn Stand rapidly emptying immediately after United’s 3rd goal

We are the Geordies, the Geordie boot boys,
For we are mental, we are mad,
We’re the loudest football supporters,
the world has ever had…

United fans got bored with the nearby mute Toon platoon in the Leazes and the Milburn Stand. We couldn’t hear a peep from the rest of the ground either although to be fair, we were so high up in the Leazes Stand that we could hear passing aircraft before anybody else in the ground. The atmosphere in the ground from reds was quite subdued for the first 15 minutes. I put this down to the fact that everybody in there was so knackered after climbing the seven levels to get there, the last thing on anybodies mind was singing songs of any kind. Reds tried engaging the locals with songs like “where’s your famous atmosphere”. With a wit that the New’astle fans are not famous for, they stated very hurtfully and less than half heartedly that we were “just a shit Man City”. United fans opened the songbook with tunes in homage to Roy Keane, George Best, Jaap Stam, Andy Cole. The confused look on the faces of the knowledgeable locals (© every clichéd commentator) was a picture of vacant confusion. As the Geordies gradually left the ground to virtual desolation, Adnan Januzaj made the score 4-0 in injury time. This was much to the chagrin of the equine division of Northumbia Police.

Bud the horse gets belted by Newcastle united fan Barry Rogerson in April 2013

Ant & Dec, Mark Knopfler, Jimmy Nail, Sting, Tory Blair, those Geordies that were always crying on the telly in the 1990’s and Alan Sheeera, your boys took one hell of a beating

In Serene Indifference – Manchester, 7th of December 2013

Call Off The Search – Manchester 16th of March 2014

I’ve seen Liverpool beat United at Old Trafford before. Quite a few times in fact and one thing I can guarantee after a Liverpool win at Old Trafford is that the forecourt that faces onto Warwick Road would be a bearpit. Especially after a result like today. These are different days though. Despite the protestations of protagonists from West London, North London and East Manchester, this fixture has the similar worldwide enticement of Real Madrid against Barca, Inter against AC Milan and Boca Juniors against River Plate. That allure resulted in the forecourt near the Megastore being flooded with smiling Oriental tourists after the game, all wearing half’n’half United/Liverpool scarves. Such was the numbers involved that Man United Fans Blog can exclusively reveal that they can call off the search for the missing Malaysian Boeing 777. The flight covertly arrived at Ringway Airport last night for this match. Continue reading Call Off The Search – Manchester 16th of March 2014

With All The Finesse Of Dave Clark – Manchester 23rd February 2014

Before this match, there was a hell of a lot of hype about Eric Cantona masks whipped up by Her Majesty’s press. Sami Mokbel reported in Friday’s Daily Mail that Palace officials “will stop any supporters wearing a Cantona mask from entering the ground, while those who try to put them on during the game will be told to remove it or face ejection”. With this in mind, I’m interested as to what may have happened if Eric Cantona turned up at the match yesterday. Would he have been turned away from the turnstile for looking like himself?

Continue reading With All The Finesse Of Dave Clark – Manchester 23rd February 2014

A Mutual Loving Of Mankind – Sunderland, 7th January 2014

A strong smell of splff blissed everybody out as we headed towards half time in an awful game. Apart from a stupid booking for Patrice Evra, a Ryan Giggs shot hitting the bar and a correctly disallowed Adnan Januzaj goal for offside, nothing much had happened apart from plenty of impotent United possession. Inspired by the aroma of the Casbah, reds were looking at each other and remarking how cool everything is. This happy catatonia was brutally disrupted when Ryan Giggs maintained his incredible record of scoring in every season since 1990/1991 in first half injury time. Unfortunately, for the first time in 23 years, he had put the ball into his own net having been pressured by his fellow Salfordian, Phil Bardsley, into doing so. The feelings of a mutual loving of mankind, evaporated almost immediately and transformed itself the usual atmosphere at football matches of loathing and hostility. Normal service was resumed. Half time and there was a sense of numb disbelief. Nobody could comprehend how Sunderland, a side who didn’t even know who was playing in goal for United, could be 1-0 up.

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Sebastian Larsson (bottom right hand corner) about to take the free kick which lead to Sunderlands goal in first half injury time

Continue reading A Mutual Loving Of Mankind – Sunderland, 7th January 2014

Birds Of A Feather, Norwich 28th of December 2013

Four days after the turkeys were stuffed, United decided yesterday to continue the avian theme and stuff the canaries in deepest Norwich. After a lie down and a warming bowl of porridge, I’m now of the knowledge that yesterday was a good win for United against a staggeringly poor Norwich.

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United fans in the Compleat Angler on Prince of Wales Road before yesterday match

United fans had already resigned themselves to being one down in the 15th minute when Wes Hoolahan somehow missed an open net in the Barclay End of Carrow Road. Continue reading Birds Of A Feather, Norwich 28th of December 2013