The recent fiasco at Old Trafford summed up United’s season in one very handy microcosm. A farce of comical proportions occurred when a mobile phone with wires hanging off it was found taped to a pipe in one of the executive suites. I can understand the worry when first seeing something like that and I don’t blame whoever it was for alerting the authorities. However, anybody who has ever tried using a mobile phone in Old Trafford will tell you, it would’ve been impossible to detonate due to the abysmal signal in the ground. If it was a real bomb and somebody would’ve tried setting it off, it would’ve gone straight to voicemail.
The evacuation procedure itself was quintessentially British. Not a hint of panic on Warwick Road as people calmly walked away from the ground. The biggest worry from Reds was managing to get to the pub before the bars got rammed.
Bournemouth fans however were a different breed altogether – somehow blaming fanzine and swag sellers for the game being postponed. I suppose it’s the kind of reaction you could expect from a load of Tory-voting Southern mard arses. One great thing to have come out of Sunday’s postponement is that this lot will have had two 500 mile round journeys in the last 72 hours. Fantastic. Continue reading Oh The Simple Pleasures – Manchester, 17th May 2016
The first thing I had to do this morning was head over to Portland Street and drop off a ticket with a lad who was going to Hull on the UWS Monkey Bus. I wasn’t to know this then, but this probably turned up the most interesting sight of the day – the walk of shame I saw en route. It was 10.30 and I’ve never seen so many girls doing that walk, at such a late hour of the morning. It could easily be called the Portland Street catwalk…
United defend a…nah, this photograph makes the game look far more interesting than what it was. The photo has been put up purely to boost this blog post’s profile in social media and for no other reason. The income generated will boost the coffers in my campaign for world domination; a kitty that presently has £5.27, a pack of king size rizlas and half an ounce of… rolling baccy, you rascal. Continue reading Portland Street Catwalk – Manchester 24th May 2015
After a first half of such incompetent tedium, a very pissed off United following roared 4-4-2 and Attack, Attack, Attack-Attack-Attack from the upper tier of the School End at Loftus Road. This was a statement intended to ring in the ears of the United players as they walked off the pitch. Watching the first 45 minutes, it was difficult to see who exactly was in a perilous relegation battle and who had aspirations to play in the Champions League next season. It was a diabolical first half performance
Piccadilly rail station, 10.25 AM and it is deserted as the Euston bound trains were going out to Stoke for this game. I have never seen this arterial train station so quiet. Gradually some hungover reds turned up. They were saying variants of goodness gracious* as for the second time in a week, they’d had an early kick off imposed on them by the whims of live TV. However, compared to getting to Tottenham for a midday kick off, this was a doddle.
Ryan Shawcross losing Phil Jones in the 2nd minute. Seconds later, he put Stoke 1-0 in front
I’ll be amazed if United have an easier game again this season than today’s match. Hull City are, by a distance, the worst side I’ve seen at Old Trafford since.. Hull City last played at Old Trafford last May. Having looked at the match stats, (something I’m not usually that big on), I see that United had 77% possession. I don’t think Barcelona, even in their tiki taka peak of 2009/2011, ever enjoyed such a generous percentage as that over ninety minutes. Statistically, QPR have had the worst result at Old Trafford this season; they were so bad as to make a feisty pub side like Leicester City, who are now bottom of the table, look like the aforementioned Barcelona. As bad as QPR were, Hull were even worse. Continue reading A Litter Of Kittens – Manchester 29th November 2014