What’s The Mata You… – Liverpool 22nd March 2015

As Steve Gerrard was warming up on the touchline during the first half, he was as expected, ruthlessly abused by United fans in the Anfield Road. Songs such as Have You Ever Seen Gerrard Win the League, have you fuck… and also And Now You’re Gonna Believe Us, You Nearly Won The League… The scene was set, Steve Gerrard, an experienced professional, captain fantastic and all that, was going to come on in the second half and take control of the game. He was going to ram United fans piss taking back down our throats and he was going to love it like Kevin Keegan whilst doing so. Martin Tyler on SKY Sports couldn’t contain his excitement. He described Gerrard as having an “encyclopedic knowledge of this fixture”, whatever the bleeding hell that means.

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Celebrating reds immediately after the final whistle (photo courtesy of Lee Thomas)

There was apprehension amongst my red brethren in the Bishops Blaize. We were wary of the fact that even though Gerrard’s legs have gone, he’s lethal from a dead ball (now for some reason, known as a set piece). Over the years, I’ve seen Gerrard have some incredible 90 minutes, I’ve even seen him have some incredible 45 minutes but this performance, all of 43 seconds has to be the coup de grace. Continue reading What’s The Mata You… – Liverpool 22nd March 2015

…To Which A Scoundrel Clings – Liverpool, September 1st 2013

Losing at Anfield under normal circumstances is forgivable, never nice but forgivable. No matter how shit Liverpool are, they always make a visit to Anfield a hard game for United. They raise their game, play out of their skins and all other cliches that can and will, be recited ad nauseum over the next couple of weeks whilst Liverpool celebrate winning their first title in twenty four years. Today, United had seven corners to Liverpools two. United who for the last few years have taken corners like an articulated lorry, never looked like threatening a stout home defence whilst Liverpool, scored from their first corner on three minutes after Tom Cleverley ducked out of the way of a goalbound Daniel Sturridge header. This was a bad goal to concede but there was plenty of time to regroup and put some sustained pressure on the Liverpool goal. For the next ninety two minutes (obviously including injury time), United ‘enjoyed’ 57% possession compared to Liverpool’s 43%. To paraphrase Samuel Johnson though, statistics like ‘patriotism, is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings’, but these statistics make things even worse. Despite Liverpool not playing brilliantly, despite United’s superior possession and corners, Liverpool deserved this win. Since the final whistle I’ve heard David Moyes say ‘I thought we played well, as well as anytime this season’. I’m only hoping Moyes is presenting a positive front for the media and not truly believing that himself. I can’t believe he would have said the same to the United players in the Anfield changing room post match. I remember Sir Alex saying after United lost at Maine Road in 2002 that ‘we should have let the fans in the changing room after that performance’. I could easily say the same about this disgrace of a showing. The United players who turned out for this game should be locked in a darkened room and shown a video of United/Liverpool matches from the 80’s and 90’s.

Continue reading …To Which A Scoundrel Clings – Liverpool, September 1st 2013

We’re having a party on Derby Day… – Sunderland 30th of March 2013

International football has interfered with momentum built up over the past couple of weeks with the usual bad smell surrounding the small town, meatheaded inbreds that follow the England side. Despite looking forward to the return of Premier League football, I hadn’t given the small time watered down Geordies that United played today too much thought until last night. Then last May came back to me and with the memory of the glee of the ‘sunlan’ (sic) fans in reaction to Aguero’s goal, I wanted United to give them a thrashing today at their pretentiously named stadium. That didn’t happen but a 1-0 win which temporarily put United eighteen points clear is a very acceptable second prize.

Continue reading We’re having a party on Derby Day… – Sunderland 30th of March 2013

Postcard from the Stretford End – Manchester United V Sunderland 15th of December 2012

Due to a long standing pre booked long weekend in Benidorm, today was the first and health permitting, last match at Old Trafford I´ll miss this season. Any hope I had of laying off my season ticket today was well and truly scuppered on Thursday morning when United sent a text message out to all season ticket holders offering to move their seat if they wanted to bring a heathen (none member) with them. I literally couldn´t give my ticket away for today´s match, a Saturday which has historically always enticed a lower attendance (unless United are playing a traditional enemy), due to it´s proximity to Christmas and fellas being out shopping with their wives/girlfriends. I find it perversly reassuring in the the some things never change sense, that behind the phony Premier league and SKY tv quasi religous fervour, the attendances will be affected by this weekends antics in the Dumplington centre.

 

Continue reading Postcard from the Stretford End – Manchester United V Sunderland 15th of December 2012