Man Utd Fans Blog: Welcome

Man Utd Fans Blog: Welcome to the sometimes sugar coated, sometimes vinegar soaked opinions of a Manchester United season ticket holder of my height, weight and mindset.

A Rum Old Season – Southampton, 11th of May 2014

No other club could attract the a full house at Southampton for such a insignificant end of season game. No other club could take the volume (in both senses) of support to the other end of the country, that United took today for such a meaningless game. United fans decided that no matter what, we were going to have an end of season party today. The noise from reds was, apart from a five minute lull/breather in the second half, relentless. The concourse at half time was like an experience in a time machine which took us back to the ’80′s. In that respect, it was a reminder of The Dell, the decrepit old shitheap that Southampton used to play in. A toilet that was too small and which had only one entry/exit caused a crush and could’ve caused a riot if it wasn’t for well ordered and self policing reds. Inside there, the air was thick with tobacco smoke and other exotic aroma emanating from extended hand rolled cigarettes. The United calypso started half way through the second half and lasted until the end of the game. Reds at the bottom of the stand were dancing a conga, with news seeping through that Liverpool were losing and City being two up, the atmosphere was relaxed. Our biggest fear of Liverpool winning the title was not to be realised.

The United Calypso 

The match itself was bloody awful. A disjointed United salvaged Read more

We Are All Bitters Now – Manchester, 6th of May 2014

The most celebrated event for reds this week has undoubtedly been the misfortune of Liverpool in their last two games. Their good luck seems to have run out at the most crucial time of the season. I should perhaps feel sorry for them, but I don’t remember the scousers being too upset when United blew the league two years ago at home to Everton. Reds with longer memoies, like me for example, will remember the glee the scousers had in April 1992 when their win over United made Leeds United champions. With those memories still quiet fresh, their defeat to Chelsea and their outright implosion at Selhurst Park last night, where Crystal Palace tapped into the spirit of Istanbul if you will, had me pissing myself with laughter.

Liverpool fans celebrating winning the League at Old Trafford in March just passed, steady on boys…

It was said to me before tonight’s match that with our reaction to that result, in effect we are all bitters now. Perhaps we are Read more

The Ball Control Of An Elephant – Manchester, 4th May 2014

At Anfield on Friday night, United beat Liverpool 1-0 in the Under 21 play off semi final. A pretty scrappy game was settled with a goal from Andreas Pereira on 44 minutes, a goal that I missed as I’d stole a march to the bar for a half time pint. I knew it was a great goal though as I was suddenly inundated with text messages by smug twats watching the game on MUTV all saying a variant of “What A Goal!”. 

United reserves at Anfield on Friday night, photo taken from the Anfield Road end, looking out to the Kop

There was about 300 reds in the Anfield Road End. I would say most of them were gobby teenagers whom were probably out of Manchester Read more

Under New Management – Manchester 27th of April 2014

Photographs from Carrington immediately after Ryan Giggs’ appointment showed ‘Happy Valley’ under new management. Players were laughing and joking, Paul Scholes was back in the fold, even Bryan Robson put an appearance in to show the United family were all, um, united. I’m always suspicious of these photographs; they look like something TASS would have put out before the Cold War went warm. For all my suspicions of these photographs, there’s Read more

Watching A Game Of Tennis – Manchester 21st April 2014

Being in the Bullens Road stand at Goodison Park is like stepping back in time. We found ourselves right behind a pillar propping the upper tier. We swung our heads like people watching a game of tennis to see what was happening on the pitch. We bemoaned the fact that we had a lousy view of the pitch and about sixty minutes into the game, we were very grateful for the same reason. For all the poor view, there is something quaintly old fashioned about the Bullens Road stand. The concourse was tight and before the match beer was being served. When Kevin Mirallas put Everton 2-0 up just before half time, we had the consolation of knowing we could have a pint or two at half time to anaesthetise us from the shite we had just witnessed. A stream of reds went down to the concourse, every one to a man gagging for a pint. Getting there, we found that Police had banned the sale of alcohol for half time and for once, I don’t think they were acting out of order. This was down to people with beer prior to the match throwing it indiscrminately on the concourse. Just to clarify, people were paying £4.00 for a pint of beer to throw it around like they were at an Oasis concert. I’ve been boozing since the late 1980s and trust me, I can think of far better things to do with a pint of lager that’s cost £4.00 (or even £2.00 come to think of it) than throw it around. I do wonder sometimes what kind of dickheads we have following United, who in their right mind would want to throw a pint of beer up in the air? There was similar goings on in the Wetherspoons Read more