Birds Of A Feather, Norwich 28th of December 2013

Four days after the turkeys were stuffed, United decided yesterday to continue the avian theme and stuff the canaries in deepest Norwich. After a lie down and a warming bowl of porridge, I’m now of the knowledge that yesterday was a good win for United against a staggeringly poor Norwich.

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United fans in the Compleat Angler on Prince of Wales Road before yesterday match

United fans had already resigned themselves to being one down in the 15th minute when Wes Hoolahan somehow missed an open net in the Barclay End of Carrow Road. Continue reading Birds Of A Feather, Norwich 28th of December 2013

Paying The Piper – Hull, 26th December 2013

Today’s match was a 12.45 kick off. Not the most convenient time for travelling fans to get to a game (unless it’s a derby) but with SKY Sports paying the piper (so to speak), the convenience of the travelling fan is at best, a secondary concern. The United team, as if in some sort of silent solidarity with the travelling reds, decided themselves to kick off at 13.00 instead of 12.45. In contravention of this protest by the United side, Hull City helped themselves to a two goal lead before United finally stopped pissing about and asserted themselves on the game. Continue reading Paying The Piper – Hull, 26th December 2013

Righteously Wronged And The Ignoble Noble – Manchester 22nd of December 2013

It’s not been a bad week. After last Sunday’s stroll in Villa Park, United qualified for the League cup semi-final via a potentially tricky away match at Stoke City. With an almost biblical downpour of hailstones, referee Mark Clattenburg took both teams off the pitch on 30 minutes. That sagacious analyst on SKY Sports, Alan ‘your nose is offside’ Smith, was complaining about it being health and safety gone mad. Smith, a product of the mythical old school where men were men and all that bollocks, would have been the first onto Clattenburg’s back if a player had acquired a serious injury due to the prevailing elements. Another great one from Smith was when he proclaimed early in the game that you could always guarantee a great atmosphere at Stoke. This was when the only noise that could be heard was the 5,000 United fans singing the Twelve Days of Cantona. Stoke fans, apart from their riposte (sic) of ‘shit’ everytime a chant of ‘United’ went up, couldn’t be heard by a dog. Continue reading Righteously Wronged And The Ignoble Noble – Manchester 22nd of December 2013

Behind Enemy Lines – Birmingham 15th of December 2013

United haven’t lost at Villa Park since a League Cup match in October 1999, which resulted in a 3-0 win for Villa. I say this as if ever United could’ve come a cropper at Villa Park since that night, it would’ve been today. Everton and Newcastle have both recently lanced long held unbeaten records at Old Trafford for United. With those results in mind, it wasn’t beyond the realms of ridicule that Aston Villa could end another long unbeaten run for United. That was the feeling ’til just after kick off.

United beat Shaktar Donetsk last Wednesday night in as low key a game as you can imagine at Old Trafford. Maybe the midweek result, courtesy of a rare Phil Jones goal, gave a United a badly needed confidence boost,something that had been badly lacking in the previous two games. The talk quietly emanating out of Aston Villa fans before the game was that United were there for the taking. There weren’t many United fans of my acquaintance who disagreed with that opinion. What nobody had banked on was just how bad Aston Villa would be. I’m sat here scratching my head like Stan Laurel wondering how Villa have somehow managed to beat both Arsenal and Man City. From what I saw today, Villa are garbage.

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View from my seat amongst the Villa fans in the Witton End, as Wayne Rooney is about to take a late corner for United

Continue reading Behind Enemy Lines – Birmingham 15th of December 2013

In Serene Indifference – Manchester, 7th of December 2013

Watching the celebrating humbug resembling balloons supporting the toon on Warwick Road post match, I thought some of them were on the verge of giving birth, such was the vigour of the grunts and screams emanating from their mouths. I’m confident that today’s result will be soon etched on Newcastle United’s unburdened honours list alongside the signings of Kevin Keegan in 1982 and Alan Shearer in 1996, the 5-0 victory against United in the same year, as well as being the peoples champions when they blew a twelve point lead in the title race. Many years and many tears have been shed since then, enough to burst the banks of the Tyne and only the most churlish would begrudge them their day in the sun, like they had today. (trust me, if you’ve ever been to Newcastle, then anywhere south of Leeds is a day in the sun no matter what the weather). Continue reading In Serene Indifference – Manchester, 7th of December 2013