We’re having a party on Derby Day… – Sunderland 30th of March 2013

International football has interfered with momentum built up over the past couple of weeks with the usual bad smell surrounding the small town, meatheaded inbreds that follow the England side. Despite looking forward to the return of Premier League football, I hadn’t given the small time watered down Geordies that United played today too much thought until last night. Then last May came back to me and with the memory of the glee of the ‘sunlan’ (sic) fans in reaction to Aguero’s goal, I wanted United to give them a thrashing today at their pretentiously named stadium. That didn’t happen but a 1-0 win which temporarily put United eighteen points clear is a very acceptable second prize.

Continue reading We’re having a party on Derby Day… – Sunderland 30th of March 2013

Nani State – Old Trafford 18th February 2013

Due to us knowing who’s been drawn in the next round, tonights match actually felt like a replay at the first time of asking. Bearing in mind the logistics, if ESPN really must show a match on a Monday night, couldn’t they have arranged for Everton’s match at Boundary Park for it instead. Season ticket holders all got begging texts the other day from United asking us if we wanted to bring a relative, friend or even an enemy and since the final whistle, we have been informed that the money for the next round is to be deducted from our accounts forthwith with an admirable speed. You’ve got to admire the efficiency of the United ticket office in sorting this out, an efficiency which nearly always induces a strong response when discussed by reds who have the fortune to deal with them. Many times in recent years, I’ve moaned about the atmosphere at Old Trafford but tonight was in comparison with recent matches, a reasonably good one, certainly in the East Lower (Scoreboard end for old school) where I was tonight for a change of scenery. The Stretford End were making a decent racket. As for Reading fans, they were like every other half witted collective of Southerners who’ve polluted our palatial stadium with their presence this season. I’ll give the Scousers one thing, they hate us with a hatred that is unique, it’s when you come across the wasters that support these Southern teams (Tottenham excepted) that you appreciate that. They all sing the same songs/chants in an attempt to rile United fans into a reaction and then get all sour when a bored United crowd can’t be arsed engaging. The usual generic shite about supporting their local team (when they appear to be doing everything but) and about how all United fans are cockneys. Half the time, I’m there thinking “ahh bless” the way you would indulge a crowd of children who are having a bit of harmless fun. They must think that we have never heard this “banter” before or failing that, they are doing what Southerners are famously good at and strangling the life out of a half decent joke ad infinitum.

Continue reading Nani State – Old Trafford 18th February 2013

Waiting For The Worm Appeal – Manchester 30th of December 2012

Sir Alex Ferguson last Sunday said that Robin Van Persie could’ve been killed by Swansea skipper, Ashley Williams kicking the ball at the back of his head. Whilst theoretically true, the likelihood was a lot less to happen but here, Sir Alex had slipped up. Through his emotional and hyperbolic statement, it gave Williams an opportunity to give a glib and faux gracious interview after the game expressing all kinds of false apology whilst making Sir Alex looked dramatic. Out of the woodwork came people like Roberto Martinez, a man well known to be no friend of Ferguson’s, a chance to defend Williams whilst at the same time attempting to get up Ferguson’s nose for the forthcoming match on New Years day. This is the same Martinez whom his boss, Dave Whelan, ever so subtly tried palming off to Liverpool last summer so Whelan then wouldn’t have to pay up his contract by sacking him, sadly for Whelan, the ruse failed.

Memories are made of this: Pardew celebrates his dramatic winner against Liverpool in the 1990 FA Cup semi-final

Alan Pardew celebrates after scoring the winner against Liverpool in the 1990 FA Cup semi final at Villa Park. A goal that was rapturously received in the Grey Parrot in Hulme

A couple of days later, there was a lively exchange just prior to the second half of the Newcastle match between Sir Alex Ferguson, referee Mike Dean and linesman Jake Collin. A lot of people have assumed, but nobody has confirmed, that it was about Newcastle’s second goal. Whatever contentious things I find that Ferguson says nowadays, his press conference on Friday in what was supposed to be a lead up to yesterdays match saw him at his bullish and belligerent best. He simultaneously managed to incense the usually wrong but always self righteous ABU’s and cause the issue of a flood alert in Newcastle due to Geordies crying about his comments. I laughed heartily that the old bugger had done it again when I saw the general reaction from none United fans. Even Ant and Dec got in on the act. Apparently, Ferguson had lost it. Alan Pardew, a man who’s only memorable moment in football was in scoring the winner for Crystal Palace in the 1990 FA Cup semi final has picked on the wrong man by commenting on something that didn’t really have anything to do with him. Has Mike Ashley really given this clown an eight year contract? If so he’s been done like a kipper. After the way the thouroughly decent Chris Hughton was treated by this deluded big fish in a little pond club, it couldn’t happen to a nicer lot.

The first surprise we got was the news of a pitch inspection announced at 12.30. United haven’t had a match postponed at Old Trafford since Christmas 1991 when a match against Aston Villa was called off due to a frozen pitch. The rain in Manchester had been relentless over the Christmas period, the pitch on Boxing day looked in some parts dead. There were people wondering how could a match at Old Trafford be in any danger of postponement with all the technology available, but rain has no respect for technology. The pitch yesterday looked knackered, several times I saw what would normally be a good pass, particularly from the ever improving Tom Cleverley, get naused due to bobbles in the grass. I’m now waiting for the worm appeal that used to be issued by United in the Manchester Evening News when I was a kid via David Meek. The likelihood is though the pitch will be relaid in the new year as I can’t see Sir Alex Ferguson tolerating a playing surface like yesterdays for too long.

West Brom have done well this season for a team that were considered relegation fodder pre season. Whilst in no danger of winning the title, nor probably anything else for that matter, they have been no pushover this season. The way United have been playing this term and with the festive period famous for turning up surprise results, I wasn’t taking anything for granted before the match. Having now seen West Brom, I can’t believe how high up the table they are, I thought they were rubbish. It’s a credit to their quietly effective manager, Steve Clarke, that they are far further up the table than their ability is. Queens Park Rangers, whom are almost certain to go down, came to Old Trafford at the end of last month and gave United a better match. The most annoying thing about yesterdays game was that United should’ve been out of sight by half time but like the West Ham fixture, just over a month ago, suddenly West Brom found themselves only one down with 15 minutes to go and started giving United a game. The anxiety around Old Trafford before Robin Van Persie’s goal in injury time which sealed the result, was unbearable. With Van Persie one booking away from a suspension before the slate was wiped clear for New Year, Sir Alex Ferguson didn’t want to play him yesterday. It’s a sign of how uncomfortable Ferguson was during the match was that he substituted Shinji Kagawa on 66 minutes for Van Persie.

United made a great start to yesterdays game. Ashley Young played a pinball like cross forcing West Brom centre half Gareth McAuley into putting the ball into his own net. This is the second season in succesion that Ashley Young has forced a West Brom player into conceding an own goal after a similar cross in the opening fixture of last season caused Steven Reid to put the ball into his own net at the Hawthorns. West Brom didn’t have a shot on target until the 50th minute when Chris Brunt shot from 25 yards straight into David De Gea’s hands. West Brom played with more confidence as the game progressed, Gareth McAuley nearly repeated his goal into the Streford End in the 70th minute with a header that came off the bar.

Players walking off the pitch into the Stretford End paddock tunnel at half time (Photo James O’Neill)

The atmosphere for the match was probably the lowest key I’ve seen all season. United fans were lifted by the own goal in the 10th minute whilst the West Brom fans were probably the quietest away support I’ve seen at Old Trafford since Everton last April. All I remember from them apart from the usual drivel about supporting their local team, were them singing a song about their 5-3 win at Old Trafford, 34 years ago to the day. Since that day where West Brom won at Old Trafford for the (to date) last time and managed by future United manager Ron Atkinson, they’ve never since looked remotely like repeating the feat.

Thanks to Peter David Garton for his help in writing this and getting me thoroughly pissed yesterday and also, thanks to Andy Mitten from UWS for providing the information about the last match to be postponed at Old Trafford.

www.uwsonline.com

Postcard from the Stretford End – Manchester United V Sunderland 15th of December 2012

Due to a long standing pre booked long weekend in Benidorm, today was the first and health permitting, last match at Old Trafford I´ll miss this season. Any hope I had of laying off my season ticket today was well and truly scuppered on Thursday morning when United sent a text message out to all season ticket holders offering to move their seat if they wanted to bring a heathen (none member) with them. I literally couldn´t give my ticket away for today´s match, a Saturday which has historically always enticed a lower attendance (unless United are playing a traditional enemy), due to it´s proximity to Christmas and fellas being out shopping with their wives/girlfriends. I find it perversly reassuring in the the some things never change sense, that behind the phony Premier league and SKY tv quasi religous fervour, the attendances will be affected by this weekends antics in the Dumplington centre.

 

Continue reading Postcard from the Stretford End – Manchester United V Sunderland 15th of December 2012

In A Backdrop Of Hot Air And Blue Smoke – Manchester, 9th Of December 2012

Things have changed at City. As Daniel Taylor from The Guardian pointed out, time was “when you might bump into Curly Watts or Eddie Large at Man City games. Tom Cruise is here today”. It was one of them days, I saw the Riot squad tearing down Every Street at 12.50 when all seemed quiet. Later on after the match, a prominent member of Uniteds firm was seen embracing a GMP football intelligence officer on Ashton New Road in a scene which had me thinking of the 1914 Christmas day truce in the Somme..

 

Continue reading In A Backdrop Of Hot Air And Blue Smoke – Manchester, 9th Of December 2012