Tag: Javier Hernández

Ragoût de mouton and an overwhelming smell of bullshit – Chelsea, April the 1st 2013

An early kick off meant a subdued atmosphere from United fans compared to the last time were at this cauldron of snides last October. That night, the pathetic home support only woke up after Daniel Sturridge put them in the lead seven minutes into extra time, apart from that, United fans took the piss out of their wooden counterparts. Yesterday at Stamford Bridge, it was more of the same. Stood in the lower tier of Shed end of Chelsea’s modern but soulless stadium, we couldn’t hear a whisper out of Chelsea fans until Demba Ba’s admittedly brilliant goal, three minutes into the second half, put them into the lead. United had controlled the game for most of the first half without looking like scoring. Only once in that period was Petr Cech tested, when a bizzare swirling shot from Javier Hernández four minutes before half time produced a great save from the Czech goalkeeper. For all United’s possesion, it was Chelsea who had the first shot on target when Demba Ba tried catching David De Gea out on his near post after half an hour. It put me in mind of the rope-a-dope tactics Muhammad Ali deployed in his 1974 fight against George Foreman in Kinshasa.

Continue reading Ragoût de mouton and an overwhelming smell of bullshit – Chelsea, April the 1st 2013

Because it’s Mothers day – Old Trafford 10th of March 2013

Twice in the first eleven minutes Petr Cech was caught badly out of position to allow United to run up a quick 2-0 lead. When Javier Hernandez was found by a perfect Michael Carrick cross in the third minute I was convinced the ball was going over the bar, so was Peter Cech as it looped over his head and into the net. Eight minutes later after a foul by Victor Moses on Nani, Wayne Rooney floated the resultant free kick into the Chelsea box and past a crestfallen Cech to make it 2-0. United looked like running rampant here, by thirty minutes Hernandez had nearly made it 3-0 and then Petr Cech reminded me why I think he´s the best keeper in the Premier League by making an incredible double save to stop a David Luiz own goal.

Continue reading Because it’s Mothers day – Old Trafford 10th of March 2013

Nani State – Old Trafford 18th February 2013

Due to us knowing who’s been drawn in the next round, tonights match actually felt like a replay at the first time of asking. Bearing in mind the logistics, if ESPN really must show a match on a Monday night, couldn’t they have arranged for Everton’s match at Boundary Park for it instead. Season ticket holders all got begging texts the other day from United asking us if we wanted to bring a relative, friend or even an enemy and since the final whistle, we have been informed that the money for the next round is to be deducted from our accounts forthwith with an admirable speed. You’ve got to admire the efficiency of the United ticket office in sorting this out, an efficiency which nearly always induces a strong response when discussed by reds who have the fortune to deal with them. Many times in recent years, I’ve moaned about the atmosphere at Old Trafford but tonight was in comparison with recent matches, a reasonably good one, certainly in the East Lower (Scoreboard end for old school) where I was tonight for a change of scenery. The Stretford End were making a decent racket. As for Reading fans, they were like every other half witted collective of Southerners who’ve polluted our palatial stadium with their presence this season. I’ll give the Scousers one thing, they hate us with a hatred that is unique, it’s when you come across the wasters that support these Southern teams (Tottenham excepted) that you appreciate that. They all sing the same songs/chants in an attempt to rile United fans into a reaction and then get all sour when a bored United crowd can’t be arsed engaging. The usual generic shite about supporting their local team (when they appear to be doing everything but) and about how all United fans are cockneys. Half the time, I’m there thinking “ahh bless” the way you would indulge a crowd of children who are having a bit of harmless fun. They must think that we have never heard this “banter” before or failing that, they are doing what Southerners are famously good at and strangling the life out of a half decent joke ad infinitum.

Continue reading Nani State – Old Trafford 18th February 2013

Reading into the 5th round – Manchester 27th of January 2013

United sent out text messages on the Wednesday just passed to season ticket holders, members and, in some cases, even lapsed members trying to entice them into buying tickets for yesterday’s match. Like the Sunderland game pre-Christmas, it was obvious that the touts were going to have a quieter day than usual. In the pre-match build up, with previous United cup final records being interspersed with Fools Gold and This Is The One by The Stone Roses, Alan Keegan informed the Old Trafford crowd that United, having won the FA cup 11 times, were the most succesful club in cup history three times in ten minutes. It was nice that United’s 1948 cup winning goalkeeper, Curzon Ashton president and Hulme old boy, Jack Crompton, was a guest of honour at yesterday’s match. Crompton is also a regular at Altrincham’s Moss Lane ground when United’s reserves are playing a home match; I sincerely hope he’s also guest of honour when he turns up there too. Continue reading Reading into the 5th round – Manchester 27th of January 2013

A Shower of berks – Man United V West Ham United January 16th 2013 FA Cup

A freezing cold night, a shite atmosphere and Old Trafford being stewarded by people that our visitors tonight would colloquially call a shower of “berks”. As much as nights like the one we all had at Stamford Bridge three months ago emphasise the privilege it is to be a red, nights like tonight are as much bad as that night was good. The irony is that United lost that night at Stamford Bridge but we all came home jubilant having taken the piss out them frauds that pollute that stadium. Tonight, United won but never has the old pun, “cold Trafford” been more appropriate. I sometimes read the K stand top left section in UWS fanzine and wonder if I’m living in a parallel universe to the fella writing it. The self mythologysing K Stand were silent for almost the entire match, outshouted by roughly 1600 traveling West Ham fans but worse were the fuckin’ stewards. Whilst the West Ham fans were stood up for almost the entire match (no skin off my nose, just as long as they don’t cut our allocation there for the same reason), Three lads just behind me in the B stand walked out after being mithered by a steward when trying to get an atmosphere going. My guess is that they probably went to the Bishops, which they might as well have been all night for the contribution they were ALLOWED to make to the atmosphere. There was another fella in the K stand in a white coat who was kicked out of the ground for the same reason. I’ve seen uprising in our proud old stadium before against these goons. The first time I saw it was the J stand in the summer of 1991 when them busy bastards that Michael “Ned” Kelly employed got a good slapping when they tried kicking out reds making an atmosphere during a match against Luton Town. Maybe Old Trafford has been stealthily neutered over the years, as a lot of people believe but I know of enough rum lads who still regularly go for that idea to be rubbish. The problem is, they’re all scattered around the stadium. The idea that was mooted last season about a singing section, where lads can gather together in a prominent part of the stadium, can’t come to fruition quickly enough in my eyes.

Goalscoring return: Wayne Rooney slid Javier Hernandez's cross into the net early on

A returning Wayne Rooney scores the winning goal on eight minutes after brilliant work by Anderson

Continue reading A Shower of berks – Man United V West Ham United January 16th 2013 FA Cup