If He Was Holding An Ace – Manchester, 25th of November 2013

Marouane Fellaini has now played ten times for United and he has impressed on precisely none of those appearances. Some players, like Roy Keane, Wayne Rooney and Robin Van Persie make an immediate impact, others, like Gary Pallister, Andy Cole and David De Gea need a so called bedding in period. I really hope that Fellaini is of the latter. The harsh truth is though Fellaini needs to start asserting whatever midfield authority he has on games like the one United played against Cardiff. At the moment, he looks like a rabbit in headlights. It’s one thing being outplayed by Yaya Toure soon after you’ve signed for a new club, another thing altogether to be anonymous in virtually every other match since. The most damning thing about United’s midfield options however is that I would still pick a dazzled and dazed Fellaini over Tom Cleverley and Anderson. Continue reading If He Was Holding An Ace – Manchester, 25th of November 2013

Shooting Fish In A Barrel – Manchester 28th of September 2013

Today was one final blast of decent weather for this year before the light draws in and the departing masses leaving Old Trafford, begin to resemble a Lowry painting for six months. After last Sundays thrashing at City and the midweek joy of beating Liverpool, there was a lot of confidence going into Old Trafford today. Despite that defeat last week and the armageddon-esque rhetoric of forthcoming doom from some reds, United went into todays fixture trailing the league leaders by five points having now played Liverpool and City away as well as Chelsea at home. The widely agreed difficult start was out of the way and United were only five points off the pace and we all know, at this stage of the season, that’s nothing. There was only one problem with that assertion, West Brom hadn’t read the script.

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Skating On Thin Ice – Manchester 23rd of September 2013

Vincent Kompany said in his post match interview on SKY Sports that ‘maybe the game meant a little bit more to us than to them…’. If Kompany has ever uttered truer words than that then I’ve yet to read or hear them. This was as bad a United performance against City that I can ever remember. Just under two years ago, I walked away from Old Trafford having witnessed City beating United 6-1. I was consoled in the belief that even though City were deserved winners that day, 6-1 was a freak result. it was a result against a 10 man team that had gone kamikaze after they had scored a goal at 3-0 down with nine minutes to go. Yesterday was different. When Wayne Rooney scored what was arguably the goal of the match on 87 minutes, United could’ve been 7-0 down and it would’ve been a fair reflection of the game. That it was only 4-0 at the time was due to the fact that with some mercy, City took their foot off the pedal when they scored their fourth on 50 minutes with a far post volley from Samir Nasri. The last time I can remember a United performance as clueless and as spineless as this, was at the Riverside stadium, Middlesbrough in October 2005, a match that had the same result as yesterday. That match inadvertently saw the departure of Roy Keane for comments he made about the game after watching it whilst seething in a hotel bar in Dubai. With a bit of luck, yesterdays performance would have marked cards for certain players in a similar way with David Moyes. I can’t second guess the reasoning of a United manager who spurned the chance of signing Mesut Özil during a summer in which he also granted Nani a new five year contract. For all that, after what I’ve seen from both Ashley Young and Anderson in the past nine days, the only time I’d expect to see them in a United shirt again would be on Thursday nights at Moss Lane in Altrincham playing for the stiffs and even then, only in place of an injury to one of the kids. There are others, more popular terrace figures like Danny Welbeck and Antonio Valencia who must also be skating on thin ice too.

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Struggled To Sign An Autograph – Manchester 15th of September 2013

After a transfer window where David Moyes struggled to sign an autograph and United’s skills of negotiation made the notorious Garry Cook look the model of professionalism, we are now thankfully back to the real football of United after every small town inbred’s favourite side played Ukraine and Moldova. As we all know, United eventually signed Marouane Fellaini after Everton Chairman Bill Kenwright showed United’s new Chief Executive up for the amateur that he is. Apart from the Warwick Road swag grafters, I can’t think of anybody who’s first choice midfield signing would have been Fellaini, but what I have no doubt about is that he’s a vast improvement on Anderson and Tom Cleverley. For Anderson, it may be a cruel coincidence that he chose yesterday to have possibly his worst ever game for United (there’s some stiff competition for that). It took me ten minutes to realise he was on the pitch, when I first noticed him he gave the ball away in midfield and proceeded to do that for the rest of the first half. When Palace midfielder Kagisho Dikgacoi conceded a very dubious penalty on forty two minutes, Anderson was running to the referee Jon Moss, like a coppers nark mithering him to send off Dikgacoi. Strictly speaking, seeing as the referee believed it to be a foul and Young was the last man, the sending off of Dikgacoi was the correct decision but it sickens me to see any footballer trying to get another footballer booked or sent off. When I see a United player doing it, it disgusts me. As dubious as the penalty was, a half time lead for United was a fair score. Robin Van Persie despatched the penalty with aplomb having been thwarted by the crossbar nine minutes earlier. On the hour, Anderson applied the coup-de-grace to his afternoon by tripping over the ball. Next time the ball went out of play, Anderson instinctively looked over to the United bench expecting to be substituted, it was his wisest move of the day. Fellaini came on to a rapturous welcome and parts of Old Trafford resembled a shebeen on Claremont Road in 1978, such was the abundance of afro syrups springing up in homage to United’s new Belgian signing. Wayne Rooney sealed the game for United on 78 minutes with a well taken free kick from thirty yards. Any result other than a United win would have been a travesty even if Uniteds first goal was never a penalty. Crystal Palace were a game and plucky side but they only threatened United’s goal once, when Dwight Gayle wasted a great oportunity on 41 minutes after ghosting past a napping Rio Ferdinand.

Continue reading Struggled To Sign An Autograph – Manchester 15th of September 2013

We’ll Stand If We Want – Manchester 2nd of March 2012

Shinji Kagawa scored in injury time of a dreadful first half to calm a nervous Old Trafford crowd. From where I was in the ground (B Stand/South Stand), there was a split second delay in reaction to the goal as we all thought it had hit the side netting. The reaction of the rest of the ground is what alerted us to the goal. It was one of relief as both teams had looked clueless up until then. Rarely has a final score of a match and the players who scored the goals in that match given such a misleading impression. A couple of minutes before Shinji Kagawa scored his and United’s second of the afternoon, Tom Cleverley came on for Anderson. The fella next to me was calling for Kagawa to be brought off as we saw Cleverley waiting on the sideline. There wasn’t much disagreement either from me or anybody near me to his wish. I have never seen a player score a hat trick and have such a poor game. When Kagawa completed his hat-trick on 87 minutes, we exchanged wry smiles at what we’d just witnessed. Wayne Rooney, who three minutes later scored the kind of goal that a team scores when winning by three goals, didn’t have a much better game himself. He did improve once a subdued Robin Van Persie was substituted for Danny Welbeck on 66 minutes but Rooney is due a showstopping game for United, this coming Tuesday is a good time to have it.

Continue reading We’ll Stand If We Want – Manchester 2nd of March 2012