Dissolved Into the Winter Sky, just another summer at Old Trafford

Earlier in the pre-season, United had bid £12,000,000 for Leighton Baines and £16,000,000 for Marouane Fellaini. These bids were, according to the media consensus, ‘angrily’ refused by Everton. United have recently come back with a cunning plan, offer a combined £28,000,000 for the pair, surely Everton would fall for that. Despite what some of my fellow reds may think, most scousers are not thick and even if so, not even the thickest scouser would have fallen for that ruse. There is now speculation that United’s next move for Baines and Fellaini is to offer four payments of £7,000,000 staggered over five years. There’s clearly some real guile controlling the transfer budget at Old Trafford.

Marouane Fellani scoring the winner for Everton against United in August 2012

 

Continue reading Dissolved Into the Winter Sky, just another summer at Old Trafford

A View From The Floodlight – Manchester 5th of May 2013

I can only hope that if United had something lying on this game, it would’ve been a better performance than the limp disgrace that was served up today. As bad as United were, Chelsea were equally so. The fairest result would’ve been a 0-0 draw but a Juan Mata shot on 86 minutes which deflected off Phil Jones gave Chelsea a 1-0 win. The most disappointing thing about the match was that United could’ve thrown a spanner in the works for Chelsea’s attempt to qualify for the European Cup next season and allow proper football clubs like Tottenham and Arsenal in. Due to United’s piss poor performance, we’ll probably yet again have these classless no-marks polluting Europe’s premier football tournament next season. After the match, more than one of my fellow reds said that they felt cheated by the display from United while others were seething over David Luiz being the cause of United’s first red card of the season. A combination of Rafael’s naïveté and the rat like guile of his poodle headed compatriot David Luiz, saw to Rafael being sent off by the usually very good Howard Webb. Last month, Sergio Aguero did a very uncharacteristic two footed assault on David Luiz. I said at the time that the biggest regret I have at that is that Aguero didn’t actually cause Luiz a serious injury. That Luiz can ellicit such a reaction from a placid and decent natured lad like Aguero says everything about the type of twat that Luiz is. In Howard Webb’s defence, a Chelsea win has probably saved him from having some spurious career threatening allegation slung in his direction, a regular occurrence from that cesspit of Russian financed poison, when they lose.

Continue reading A View From The Floodlight – Manchester 5th of May 2013

An Old Fashioned Charabanc…Islington 29th of April 2013

Three weeks ago, United played City and for the first time ever, I didn’t see a single ticket tout working a United game. The same thing happened yesterday at Arsenal’s stadium at Ashburton Grove. The circumstances though between the two games and lack of ticket grafters were radically different. For the derby, the local plod had decided on a zero tolerance policy for the enterprising free marketeers who work on Warwick Road, doing as the government tell them to do by going out and earning a living. Damned if they do, damned if they don’t. Yesterday at Arsenal, I did not come across a single person selling a ticket until the game had kicked off. The concourse was flooded with reds desperately trying to get tickets and there was absolutely nothing about. Through desperation, I tried jibbing my way into the ground. Twice I got in and twice some over-enthusiastic and underpaid jobsworth woke up at the very second I didn’t want them too. On the third attempt, I was clocked by a Policeman who’d saw me getting kicked out five minutes earlier. After he compared me to a feature of female genitalia, he advised me in Anglo Saxon language with all the humour you’d expect from a copper that I’d be spending some time courtesy of his friends and her majesty at Blackstock Road Police station if he saw me again. I didn’t want that to happen as they have a habit of releasing people minutes after the last train has left so you don’t even get a nights stay out of them. With resignation, I was walking towards Holloway Road to find a pub showing the match when I bumped into an Arsenal fan who offered me a spare for £200.00. Seconds after I told him this amateur once a season tout which orifice he could place his ticket, I heard a faint cheer go up and I was convinced United had scored. Due to the local mobile phone masts going berserk, it was a good five minutes before I could phone somebody to be greeted with the news that it was actually Arsenal who had scored with a goal by Theo Walcott. Continue reading An Old Fashioned Charabanc…Islington 29th of April 2013

Papering Over The Cracks – Manchester 8th of April 2013

There was a strange build up to this game. Superficially, United fans (myself included) were exuding confidence about having a party on derby day. Privately, myself and virtually every red I know would have been delighted with a draw tonight. United hadn’t lost a league game in nearly five months since the terrible performance at a staggeringly poor Norwich City in November. The truth is that United haven’t played well since the first half of the Chelsea FA Cup game immediately after being knocked out of the European cup just under a month ago. The two league matches since then (prior to tonight’s match) had seen United beat Reading and Sunderland by a goal to nil without really looking impressive. Everybody knew that United would have to improve dramatically on last Mondays dreadful performance at Stamford Bridge because one thing that was obvious was that City were going to be up for this game tonight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sm98Yjsko5U

Continue reading Papering Over The Cracks – Manchester 8th of April 2013

Ragoût de mouton and an overwhelming smell of bullshit – Chelsea, April the 1st 2013

An early kick off meant a subdued atmosphere from United fans compared to the last time were at this cauldron of snides last October. That night, the pathetic home support only woke up after Daniel Sturridge put them in the lead seven minutes into extra time, apart from that, United fans took the piss out of their wooden counterparts. Yesterday at Stamford Bridge, it was more of the same. Stood in the lower tier of Shed end of Chelsea’s modern but soulless stadium, we couldn’t hear a whisper out of Chelsea fans until Demba Ba’s admittedly brilliant goal, three minutes into the second half, put them into the lead. United had controlled the game for most of the first half without looking like scoring. Only once in that period was Petr Cech tested, when a bizzare swirling shot from Javier Hernández four minutes before half time produced a great save from the Czech goalkeeper. For all United’s possesion, it was Chelsea who had the first shot on target when Demba Ba tried catching David De Gea out on his near post after half an hour. It put me in mind of the rope-a-dope tactics Muhammad Ali deployed in his 1974 fight against George Foreman in Kinshasa.

Continue reading Ragoût de mouton and an overwhelming smell of bullshit – Chelsea, April the 1st 2013