…And The Living Is Easy… – Manchester 4th August 2016

Summertime…and the living is easy…fish are jumping and the cotton is high… (George Gershwin 1934)

United in blue and Wigan in white at the DW stadium on 16th July. The DW stadium by the way is named after Dave Whelan; a little known fact is that Whelan broke his leg in the 1960 FA Cup Final

After a Summer of easy living and virtually non-stop football, the new season is nearly upon us once again. So a big fat hurrah for that.

It seems like only yesterday since Manchester United’s glorious victory over Crystal Palace and the whole two minutes it was celebrated for before word leaked out over Louis van Gaal’s forthcoming dismissal. I’d love to know just what kind of knobheads we have in our support who thought it was a good idea to boo van Gaal every time his kite came up on the big screen at Wembley. Those wankers got their wishes almost seconds after the final whistle when the wholly accurate rumour that van Gaal was to be sacked Continue reading …And The Living Is Easy… – Manchester 4th August 2016

Raving And Rolling At The Russell Club

On the crest of the Two-Tone Ska wave, Madness played the Russell Club in Hulme during September 1979. Peter Barry, a home and away Red from Hulme, saw the Nutty Boys play there, on what was a fairly raucous night.

Peter explains: “We were Perry Boys and had a bit of a skirmish with them in The Russell the week before their first appearance on Top Of The Pops. They were gobby Cockneys, being the big-time boys, and I ended up belting Chas Smash. If you look up Madness’s singing The Prince on their first appearance from Top Of the Pops, you’ll notice that he is wearing a trilby carefully positioned to obscure his eyes; that’s because at least one of them is black.”

Madness on Top Of The Pops in September 1979

Madness weren’t the only band to have trouble at their concerts. David Murray, an Old Trafford lad and United supporter, saw Continue reading Raving And Rolling At The Russell Club

Watching A Game Of Tennis – Manchester 21st April 2014

Being in the Bullens Road stand at Goodison Park is like stepping back in time. We found ourselves right behind a pillar propping the upper tier. We swung our heads like people watching a game of tennis to see what was happening on the pitch. We bemoaned the fact that we had a lousy view of the pitch and about sixty minutes into the game, we were very grateful for the same reason. For all the poor view, there is something quaintly old fashioned about the Bullens Road stand. The concourse was tight and before the match beer was being served. When Kevin Mirallas put Everton 2-0 up just before half time, we had the consolation of knowing we could have a pint or two at half time to anaesthetise us from the shite we had just witnessed. A stream of reds went down to the concourse, every one to a man gagging for a pint. Getting there, we found that Police had banned the sale of alcohol for half time and for once, I don’t think they were acting out of order. This was down to people with beer prior to the match throwing it indiscrminately on the concourse. Just to clarify, people were paying £4.00 for a pint of beer to throw it around like they were at an Oasis concert. I’ve been boozing since the late 1980s and trust me, I can think of far better things to do with a pint of lager that’s cost £4.00 (or even £2.00 come to think of it) than throw it around. I do wonder sometimes what kind of dickheads we have following United, who in their right mind would want to throw a pint of beer up in the air? There was similar goings on in the Wetherspoons Continue reading Watching A Game Of Tennis – Manchester 21st April 2014

Can You See The Goal Fernando? Manchester, 19th Of September 2011

Phil Dowd is, I reckon, one of the better referees in the premier league. Watching the match yesterday, I originally thought that he gave some very generous decisions in Chelsea’s favour, I still think that but I now realise he gave at least one goal to United that was offside. Yesterdays match was probably the most bizzarre I’ve ever seen between two top teams. United’s usual precision of passing was lacking and there was some very sloppy play from Uniteds midfield. Couple that with some very unusual waste’s of good opportunity from Chelsea, Ramires and Fernando Torres in particular (in fact Torres, more infamous) meant that this was as far from the usual keep it tight game that United and Chelsea usually serve, as can be. It was a great help to United that Chelsea insist on having a clearly past-it John Terry as skipper and first choice centre half. Whilst Chris Smalling was fractionally offside for United’s first goal, Chelsea’s marking was diabolical. It wasn’t as if Smalling was offside through a well marshalled Chelsea defence but by a shambolic and incoherent back four which left John Terry on his own, tracking back. By thirty minutes, Chelsea had spurned three great goal scoring oportunities from Torres and Ramires, but that was to get much better later.

Chelsea supporters are like the Oasis of football fans. Every song they sing is either directly nicked or bastardised from the United and to a lesser extent, Liverpool song books. They’ve even nicked the “el nino” banner that the scousers came up with for Torres, just changing it from red to blue. They sing the blue flag (sic),  Forever and ever, Bring on Sunderland and Arsenal and many more. The one chant that is their own is the awe inspiring repetition of Chewsee, chewsee, chewsee to the melody of “Amazing Grace”

Nani scored a belter to make it 2-0, he cut through the Chelsea defence like a hot knife through butter to hit, from twenty yards, a screamer which went flying past Petr Cech’s right hand side.

Phil Jones was immense yesterday, he has made a massive impression on everybody at Old Trafford since his debut. Most people, myself included were pretty ignorant of him until he came to Old Trafford but now, he looks like such an imposing figure and for such a big lad, surprisingly nimble footed. He dosen’t as much dance and skip his way through a defence, like Nani, as he just goes through them like a light footed tank. It’s hard to believe he’s only nineteen years old.

After the recent anihilation of Arsenal, the Stretford end serenaded Chelsea with Are you Arsenal in disguise ? Chelsea, who had in Ashley Cole one ex Arsenal player decided to answer that by bringing on another ex Arsenal player at half time in Nicholas Anelka. It took him all of thirty seconds to make an impact by threading a brilliant pass through to Torres who dinked the ball over De Gea to make it 3-1.

United’s counter attacking play can be devastating. Juan Mata had a shot on Uniteds goal which was brilliantly saved by David De Gea, Chelsea took a short corner, lost possession and within ten seconds, United had hit the bar through Nani and then won a penalty. Wayne Rooney took the penalty and his standing foot slipped just like David Beckham in Turkey in 2003 and also more celebrated by United fans, John Terry in Moscow in 2008.

Torres missed three great chances yesterday but the one that everybody will remember and the one that’ll have Ronnie Rosenthal doing cartwheels in gratitude, is the open goal miss in front a disbelieving & delirious Stretford End with five minutes to go. As Torres controlled the ball and rounds De Gea like the top class centre forward we know he is,  I’m mentally preparing for 3-2 and a late siege on United’s goal. The crowds reactions was like none I’ve witnessed in my thirty years of watching football. Relief, derision and the sound of scornful laughter from at least 73000 people. Even the Chelsea fans in the L stand behind me were laughing, though in a more rueful and resigned manner than we were. Chelseas heart, unsurprisingly vanished after the Torres miss, so much so that a bad miss by Dimitar Berbatov in the last minute will be, by most people, forgotten.