The Ball Control Of An Elephant – Manchester, 4th May 2014

At Anfield on Friday night, United beat Liverpool 1-0 in the Under 21 play off semi final. A pretty scrappy game was settled with a goal from Andreas Pereira on 44 minutes, a goal that I missed as I’d stole a march to the bar for a half time pint. I knew it was a great goal though as I was suddenly inundated with text messages by smug twats watching the game on MUTV all saying a variant of “What A Goal!”. 

United reserves at Anfield on Friday night, photo taken from the Anfield Road end, looking out to the Kop

There was about 300 reds in the Anfield Road End. I would say most of them were gobby teenagers whom were probably out of Manchester Continue reading The Ball Control Of An Elephant – Manchester, 4th May 2014

A Ring Of Boos – Manchester 29th of March 2014

Blue scarves, blue shirts and blue hats for a blue day were all I needed as the traditional Spring sight of daffodils was overwhelmed on Wednesday morning. By Wednesday night, the agenda had changed for the media. Some dickhead had decided to canvas contributions for an aircraft based at Barton Aerodrome to fly over Old Trafford with an anti-Moyes banner attached.

Years ago, we all laughed at attention seeking City fans who had arranged an aircraft with the legend “You’re The Pride Of Singapore” attached to it on the day United won the title. We all chuckled at how small time it was. Now a truth more painful than the defeat the other night has become apparent; there are some real pricks amongst United fans. I’m struggling to think what’s worse – that a small amount of United fans are prepared to pay good money on this pathetic stunt or a significant amount are prepared to chip in small amounts to facilitate it.

As some Reds had said yesterday, the publicity generated for a gleeful media over this whole sorry episode meant that it had actually become academic as to whether it happened or not. How many times has a ‘Glazer Out’ plane been hired since 2005? I suppose that a few bad results are fair game for something like this but the extracting of hundreds of millions of pounds on absolutely nothing is fine. David Moyes, a decent man who might be out of his depth, doesn’t deserve this (and don’t give me any of that bollocks about how much he gets paid). It is shameful. Continue reading A Ring Of Boos – Manchester 29th of March 2014

In A Day – Manchester 23rd of March 2014

In a day when Arsene Wenger celebrated his one thousandth game with a record equalling defeat at Stamford Bridge; in a day where Andre Marriner made a refereeing mistake that will give him indefinite sleepless nights; in a day when Daniel Sturridge bravely shook off the national vilification for his disgraceful antics last week with a goal at Cardiff (waddya mean you’ve heard nowt about it?), Wayne Rooney equalled, then surpassed Jack Rowley’s scoring tally and stole the headlines with a goal from 58 yards at the Boleyn Ground. It’s hard to say which is Rooney’s best ever goal and it can obviously only ever be a matter of opinion anyway, but it’s comfortably the furthest goal he’s ever scored. The goal has been constantly compared to David Beckham’s goal against Wimbledon at Selhurst Park in August 1996. Personally, I think it’s more akin to Nayim’s fantastic goal for Real Zaragoza against Arsenal in the 1995 European Cup Winners Cup Final in Paris (shown below). Like Andre Marriner, West Ham United keeper Adrian will have a few sleepless nights coming up. Even with admiring the brilliance of Rooney’s initiative, a keeper should never be beaten from that distance (unless you’re David Seaman)

Continue reading In A Day – Manchester 23rd of March 2014

Every Cloud Has A Leaden Lining – Manchester 2nd February 2014

The transfer window provided the opportunity for the eternally talentless Jim White, of SKY Sports News, giving us a helium-fueled night of tedium on what is understatedly called, DEADLINE DAY (please shout this out loud as you read it.) Rarely has a man with so little to say, said so much. On Friday night, he had even less to say than usual, but still said too much, too loudly with all the reserve and control of a five year who’s been given carte blanche to drink Red Bull.

Staying cool: Jim White alongside Simon Thomas on DEADLINE DAY™ 2009

David Moyes said last Summer that he’s “more than happy with what we’ve got. I’m very happy with my squad and the options we have”.  Continue reading Every Cloud Has A Leaden Lining – Manchester 2nd February 2014

An Empty Gesture In A Fit Of Pique – Manchester 20th January 2014

Last week, United beat Swansea City 2-0 with goals from Antonio Valencia and Danny Welbeck to seize a losing run. It was at times sloppy and Swansea gave United a scare or two in the first half, but United ended up winning comfortably. Yesterday, with United’s recent results in mind, some bookies were offering 4/1 on a straight United win. I reckon it’s over twenty years since odds as good as that, were offered on a United win. Even with odds as enticing and knowing that even now, United are capable of beating anybody on the right day, I don’t know anybody who had a serious punt on a United victory. Most reds I spoke to prior to yesterday were secretly dreading the potential leathering United could have got. The 3-1 result looked emphatic for Chelsea, anybody who watched the game will know that was far from the case.

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Yet again a merciful United attack spared the opposition when playing well. It was a surprise to nobody watching the match that with United dominating the early part of the game, Chelsea took the lead in the 17th minute. Samuel Eto’o sold Phil Jones far too easily on the right flank and then let fly with left footed shot that hit the back of the net right in front of the traveling reds via a Michael Carrick deflection. Before that, Ashley Young had forced the excellent Petr Cech into a save in the first minute. For all that possession up to Eto’s goal, I’m convinced that United, Young, Rafael and Evra in particular,would struggle to deliver a news paper, never mind a decent final ball. The quality of the crosses when in a good position was as bad as anything I’ve ever seen Nani deliver. Continue reading An Empty Gesture In A Fit Of Pique – Manchester 20th January 2014